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? oi cunt.

It really is the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever seen. And it’s gone global.
This is what the “general public” is! That’s it! It’s all we have.
I’m done, had enough with society. Might go Into The Wild McCandless style. Sure, I’ll check annual river height charts and I’m not scared of water. Might even take a dingy.
But I’m gone.
Wipe my arse Arab style.
 

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I have been informed by my company, that I must work from home from next week, until further notice..........Our office is to be quaratined, with only a skelaton staff using it and no visitors allowed in. Most sensible, me thinks, considering that Italy was at this stage 2 weeks ago and now look what has happend.....Happy Days
 

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We’ve got the wee bum hoses here called, no joke, shataf... Can drip dry if I need to...


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Regarding the bog roll situation. If you lock up the male population for a few weeks with nothing to do, of course household toilet paper consumption is going to skyrocket.
 

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UK Virus ALERT The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, level may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. The virus has been re-categorised from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada. The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let's Get the Bastard.” They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability. Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.” The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.” Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from “No worries” to “She'll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level. The Russians have said “Its not us”
 

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Will be doing next weekend, Brechfa rally is still going ahead, they have said you can take your own pen for signing on though:)
 
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